there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They took my balls.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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