My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
