Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
