I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
