are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
