Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
