Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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