SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
