I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
