My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
