So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
