5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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