Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
