Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fuck appropriateness.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize