There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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