Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
