where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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