we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
