So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
