thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
