Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
