You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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