Betty ford says i'm here all night
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
