so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
