i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
