i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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