Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
