What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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