bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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