When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
