I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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