Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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