my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
