Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
