porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
