Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
