Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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