Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
