I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
