I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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