Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
