u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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