in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
