Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Randomize
