she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
