Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
