Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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