have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
