your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
