I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
3pm strippers are depressing
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to calm my uterus...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
