dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize