She's JV to your varsity
high people should be assigned attendants
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
