He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
