Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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