I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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