I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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