I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
