it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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