So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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