Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
