At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
