yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
