I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just want nice things and good sex
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
