for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize