i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
