are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
