kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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