just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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